We're all looking to improve our relationship, right? Less fights, more fun - it sounds good. It can also sound overwhelming, like taking on another project in our already hectic lives.
I'm going to ask you to do ONE thing. Just one. For the next week, every time your partner does something you like, something thoughtful or positive - acknowledge it.
But, Meredith, I already do this. That's great! Do more of it. If you commit to this for a week, I promise you will be more aware, doing it more often and communicating your appreciation more clearly.
Babe, I really appreciate you doing this.
It was so helpful to me when you did that.
Sounds easy? Maybe too easy...
Let me tell you, the starting point is that easy. As our favorite couples researchers, John and Julie Gottman, Ph.D., say, "small things often." Yes, the big things are important; however, the small, day-to-day interactions are what determine whether a couple is on the path to success or failure.
Want to hear a scary thought? You've got to be heading in one direction or the other. There is no stagnant, no standing still. If you're not on the path to success, you are on the path to failure.
If you are not on the path to success, you are on the path to failure.
I told you it's scary. What does this mean? It's time to do something. Do this one thing every day for the next week and see what difference it makes in your relationship. Once you've got this down, we can build on it and continue moving in a positive direction.
I'd like to hear how this goes for you - leave a comment below and let me know how you voiced your appreciation to your partner and what his or her response was. You may provide a good idea to someone else!
Meredith Silversmith, MA, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Co-Founder, and Clinical Director of Nassau Wellness. Meredith is passionate about her work and truly enjoys her time with clients. She specializes in couples therapy, chronic conflict, infidelity, communication issues, and teen issues. Read more...