Now that you have a deeper understanding of the emotional bank account and how a low balance may be playing out in your relationship, you can do something to change it.
To make change happen, you’ve got to b e willing to do things differently. This means communicating differently, reacting to one another differently, and managing your emotions differently. You’ve got to be open to feedback about the ways each of you contribute to the negative cycle as it currently stands. It may feel uncomfortable or even awkward when you first start this process, but that feeling is temporary.
How do we break these negative cycles?
We start with rituals of connection. These are small, positive interactions that happen consistently between two partners. They are routines you look forward to each day, like having your morning coffee together, taking a walk around the neighborhood after dinner, or watching your favorite TV show together.
We’ve got to get back to prioritizing (and allowing) these moments.
While it only takes one person doing something differently to change a dynamic, the process is more powerful when both partners are committed. Share these last few blog posts with your partner to start a dialogue about the state of your relationship. Express your desire for things to feel better between you and that you’re ready to do the work to make that happen. See if they’re ready to do the same.
If you’re both on board, you can work together to make a plan for integrating rituals of connection into your relationship consistently. You can give yourselves the opportunity to see one another more positively and focus on things that are going right. It’s much easier to move forward when you see your partner taking the step too.
How do we integrate rituals of connection into our relationship?
I take couples through this process in my FREE video training, Feel More Loved in One Hour a Week. This one hour training will walk you and your partner through:
>> The benefits of having consistent rituals of connection in your relationship
>> Identifying your most impactful activities across three crucial categories (friendship, emotional intimacy, and physical intimacy)
>> Integrating rituals of connection into your daily, weekly, and monthly routines
>> Troubleshooting issues that may arise as you create these new habits
